Is this the end...?

*but I can tell you this blog will have its name changed by January 2008!

faulty television

I was wondering about my father...

What if you always wanted something and in the end it doesn't turn up the way you wanted it to be.
What if you can't find the reason why (maybe because there are so many) and you not even bother thinking of it... something more like 'that's the way life is'.
And you see yourself... you see your children... and you all are so different. (and then the awareness becomes disappointment)

And what if you could replace all of that.... what if
There are so many others that look the same as me... they are not my real children... but maybe... maybe it doesn't matter.
A way of replacing one person for another... (we do this with bf/gf don't we)

I feel like a faulty television.

MPhil II

"Maybe I want to prove that the world is a good place or die trying.

*

Like the game where you fall backwards and you have to try not to second guess that your friend will catch you... usually I can't do it. Am I trying to teach myself faith by tossing myself into the void and assuming it'll be okay? Yeah, I like that...

*

I'm trying to fall backwards to see if the world will catch me.

*

But I still feel fear... I still worry that I won't find good people, that good things won't happen; how often do I have to do this before I accept that things always do work out? And what if I push it too far and something really bad happens? But other than being raped and beaten and jailed and killed I guess my idea of things "not working out" is different from most people's... Like, here I am, homeless and friendless, don't know the language, sleeping in the street, in the rain, tired... but I don't consider this to be such a big disaster, really. No big deal. Maybe the ecstasy really did have a permanent effect on me!"

-Jeffrey Lewis

GUFF #2

Strength to change Britain

When I was in Brazil I was never interested in national politics, just international relations; but once I moved to England I was completely dragged into this world of House of Commons (and Lords) by Mr. Blair and his troupe.
Internships, membership and about one year later I was shaking hands with Gordon Brown.

I don't know about party conferences on other countries (or parties) but at the Labour Party Conference there was room for everything.

Uncountable fringes about all range of subjects. Free wine, beer and nice food (with every pack including speeches of famous Labour politicians and music - live or mechanical).

After 1 or 2 hours queuing for the Leader's speech you start to understand the feeling of those who really believe in the people and values (and changes made and about to come!) behind the whole circus.

It doesn't matter if you are at a media reception eating oyster with others (happened!) or leafleting for your organisation and receiving a bad look (also happened!!); it is about being Labour and believing you have a political role to play, no matter in which level.

And if the Prime Minister is not as tall as he seems, maybe you exchanged a smile with the next PM to be... who knows...

I learnt about egos and about keeping my mouth shut. There was also the moment for having fun and being myself (and people appreciated that).

I am sure the Labour has the strength to change Britain. It seduced me through HIS rhetoric and now (and forever) I will carry this mark with me.

I will need this same strength to change and achieve everything I decided to, but for now, instead of doing as Gordon Brown and stand up for Britain, I will first have to stand up for myself.